Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
So, it occurred to me that if one wants to keep the inspiration torch lit, one must stay with like minded peoples. My peoples. Today I did just that. I visited 2 local quilt shops, picked up a job, called a quilter friend, a quilter friend called me, then I went treadmill-ing a mile and a half next to a lady that quilts, ( who knew?) finally ending my day with the monthly guild meeting where I was warmly welcomed home from a 2 year sabbatical. This fed my spirit for the day and Lord knows I needed it. I was so excited I almost volunteered for everything! ( oh thank God I resisted, you know how that goes). I resumed my position with giving for The Caring Angels, and I had a wonderful time, and I ate a cookie. Grunt.
I would have eaten 2, but I was good and brought it home to Walt. ( bad influence eh?)
I think I have cookie issues. I want one right now. Maybe sugar calls sugar afterall? Ok, I digress.........
On my TO DO list this morning are all things quilty. I even called a Stitch N Bitch day next week and invited fellow
bitchers, stichers. Wednesday, write it down, if you show up here, bring me a cookie.
Did you see that sweet girl on the Olympics who lost her Mother too and continued her ice skating performance in honor of her Mother? Another good inspiration, if she can do that, I sure can too!
For those of you that know our Heather, Sarah Bear, you may or may not know of her Step Sons Journey with Cystic Fibrosis. Another horrid disease. This young man, same age as my Son James has just received 2 beautiful disease free lungs and is breathing on his own. BREATHING on his own! I tell you this, because the next time I remind myself to "breath", and I feel that I just CANNOT.... I will think of Josh Mompean, and I WILL. :::thanks Josh:::
While its true that I really have had a BAD couple years....if I seek and find inspiration, I hold onto hope for the next breath, walk, day, week, month, and year.
'Scuse me now while I go
eat a cookie create a quilt.
Love yer guts:)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Oh! I found ( in stockton of all places) The perfect Bare root Cherry trees to plant in honor of Mom. I ordered 1 for Sis and Karen too. Mom's cherry fetish carried over to Karen, and these Bings are self fertilizing. Im so excited about this! My Sis, being Gardeness extrodinaire will love it too. Ya put cherries in front of Mom and she will eat them til she makes herself ill! Speaking of................
I think I caught a nasty bug. Kept me up all night and not doing so well this morning. Somethings trying to undermine my Gym nights eh? Not happening. I have a goal, remember? Owwwwwww
I think I will go waddle around figuring out my day. Have a Marvelous Monday Dear Blog Readers..............
* My Ipod to help me get thru the pain.
*A battle Buddy in the Gym
*A leaky washer hanging in there for me:)
*blood pressure meds!
* Plans, plans, plans.
*Mama memories, and cherry trees
*My John Mayer " Heart of Life" tee shirt to remind me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I came across this story while seaching for a lost recipe... I thought about changing the channel, but it was such a fun time, I could not let it go without reposting.
I love requests! Heathers right, I should do requests! LOLOL
I decided to ask Mom to join me for a Road Trip to Beaver Utah, for a funeral a couple years back. I knew that she wouldn't be excited about going with me, so I sweetened the pot by bribing her with a detour to her sisters home in Las Vegas. Worked beautifully....or so I thought.
What in the world was I thinking starting out in CA, take Highway 80 to Salt lake, down to Beaver, and then shot over to Las Vegas... Piece of cake... MY FOOT! I think it turned out to be 1800 miles one way!! I don't remember now!!!
It began fine, chatting and singing, and gossiping about anyone who wasn't in the car.. (RULES)
Mom was seemingly happy, congenial if you will, but that didn't last very long. She soon began to periodically scold me for my speed. Now, I'm in the salt flats for Pete's sake, and a whistle clean driving record, but somehow I felt like Rainman, trying to convince her that I drive good in the driveway!
Mom is also diabetic, and ever watchful of the food clock. So of course, she spied any eating establishment we past, while watching her watch. (Now who's rainman eh?) I took very good care of her mind you, and I think she truly just needed to gripe a bit. So I thought, why not.... Sometimes, ya just gotta gripe. She was "on one" about a CD that she had forgotten to bring along, and wanted me to find a store to buy this CD.. Who was it.... ::thinkin:::Carmen? Gospel, I know...I'll keep thinking.. but I'm almost sure that's it.. How could I forget?
She wore me down. She made me do it.. made me tell her that if I HAD a trunk, she would surely be in it! ( I had a Road Ranger, no trunk) OMG You would have thought I started WW3. Now the griping turned UGLY....and I was reminded of everything she did for me as a child , including 32 hours of labor and delivery, That time I got my sisters toes caught in the spokes of my bike.... and everything wrong I had ever done as a teenager. What a fun ride.... I laughed alot, and so did she.. we passed the time and it was all a good thing. We had a wonderful hotel stay mid way and the pool relaxed her quite a bit. And.. we found her beloved CD... THE ONLY ONE IN THE CAR ( ahh u are with me eh? THE only one in the car... smooth move..NOT)
Our time in Beaver was pleasant. So good to see family and old friends. I'm sure Mom was delighted daily. However, she was ON THE CLOCK, to get to Las Vegas , to her sisters. In hindsight, I think now that she was in a hurry to get everywhere? Maybe, Home? I got in trouble big time stopping for lunch in St George to see my cousin there... wow... but then she did have good fun gossiping about that side of the family, from St George into Las Vegas.
Finally... She is in her sisters arms, and I feel victorious! They marched hand in hand looking so darn cute from behind, to bingo halls, casinos on the strip, restaurants on every block for 3 days. At which time Mom says to me.. " Gina? I think we need to hit the road.. I need to get home!" Alrighty then Ma.... get in the trunk! ( I got smacked)
Little did I know that there was a huge storm coming in over the Tehachepe mountains...WHILE they were doing road construction, AND... it was getting dark. But hey, I am woman right? I can do this. We had Carmen in the CD player, and that's all we needed.. so said Mom. (her version of Jesus takes the wheel?) Help me......
Mom sang, and prayed aloud while I battled the mountain, the buckets of rain, and the defroster that just wasn't cutting the mustard. My hands were white knuckled and sweaty... but we were going for it! Now Mom wants a hotel, she is tired of fighting this battle... Have you ever seen a hotel either side of Barstow? I couldn't find one, but then again, it was flooding around me. I told her to continue singing, or the trunk was going to be a makeshift reality. She laughed, and sang louder, while she said you damn well better find a hotel Gina. OMG.. she slays me!
No hotel, no restaurants, just falling rocks and water. The windshield wipers full blast, just like the fans and Carmen..... I had to get over the mountain, and that's that. Every once in awhile, I raised my hand to the dashboard, over the defrosting fan, to dry my sweaty palms. Just a little Queens wave to help me keep a grip on the wheel u know? I noticed that Mom was doing the same as me every couple minutes. She continued to sing, and to pray aloud. This Carmen CD was working on my last nerve, and I LIKE gospel tunes!
I finally couldn't TAKE IT ANYMORE, and asked Mom.... "Mom? Why in the heck are you drying your hands like me?" She looked at me, quite seriously, and said "Gina... I thought we were praising the Lord together with a show of our hands raised and waving to our Father?"
I began to laugh until I cried, and then I laughed and cried even more.... She is now so mad at me I think she is fuming out of her ears. I couldn't even stop the car on this mountain, cause I couldn't see through the rain OR the tears!
Finally down... looking for a freeway, she called me a wierdo. (like that's news) I never told her that she was mistaken about my hand over the fan. I couldn't tell her. She KNOWS that God got us over that mountain, and that's that.
Bakersfield was the only thing I could find, a seedy motel, that we weren't happy about, but spent. Mom griped and griped, and I just pulled her into a room... at the door, she spied a poorly dressed female at the top of the stairs, and said OMG GINA, we need to keep praying, I think this is a place for business other than sleeping. I said shhh Mom please don't say anything. She said well, (LOUDLY) "WHAT ARE THEY DOING UP THERE??? I will if they bother me, and you cant stop me." I said Ma.... theres a makeshift trunk, a wet lonely road, and 4 hours to drive home... you choose. She got in the room, blocked the door with a chair, and complained that there was no CD player for Carmen to sing to us.
To this day, Mom tells anyone who listens about Gina wanting to put her Mother in the trunk
To this day I tell anyone who listens that my Mother prayed us over the Tehachepes. Via defrosters.
Side note: She still calls once inwhile to say.... "Gina? ::whining::....I miss our trip we took, Ya done good Buttercup."I roll my eyes and say, you know Ma... me too...
It's a bit difficult, I KNOW, to try to set goals, think positive, BE happy when I'm feeling grief, (cause grief seems to be my middle name eh) but without this, IMHO, I would surley perrish. I realize that I am more scatter brained than usual, and it not easy to even REACH a small goal. I keep making goals, and scratching them out making new ones just as fast. But at least I'm still making them. So I guess the above quote COUNTS for me.
I have lost 5 pounds and my energy levels are up. 1/4th of the way to health goal number 1. ( woohoo!) The hard part is not playing the records in my head that undermine my attitude. Records of missing my James so much I ache constantly, or not hearing a "ya done good Buttercup" from Ma. I clic the remote channels so much its just ridiculous. Mufasa says that I am a very strong woman, I say I am a faker. We both agree that I fake it til I make it, and the perception is strength.
Today my goal is to make it to the gym, so I can flip thru my new quilt magazine on the treadmill while faking the fact that I am in no pain. grunt. I took yesterday off to heal, as my "heels" are barking loudly!
I am happy that I am a goal setter, I just wish I could reach more these days.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I have mentioned time and time again how wonderful my chosen profession is eh? THEE best community in the world. From Family and friends, to colleagues and computer associates.. Customers and Quilt shop owners. I am truly among the Olympians of professions. The best one being my hugest fan Mufasa...I dunno how he deals with my wierdness of late. Anyway.... My customers have not only waited for me, but care about me and mine too. I am so blessed I tell ya. So very blessed. I am working hard to get back to working hard. Make sense? I think today may be the day. Getting the house back in order, all calls returned, appointments made. SHEESH what a chore. Did I tell you that my Ginny got matted over this last journey of mine? Yep yep yep... Shes going for dreadlocs now.. ( on list, call groomer, shave her down!) Oh crap I didnt unpack the last suitcase... wheres the list?
On the Gym front: Oh Lord I am in PAIN! There, I've said it. There isnt a muscle in my body that isnt screaming for a hot tub. :::put on list of goals to save for::: I must tell you that this couldnt have been better timed. The winter Olympics are on daily and an awesome inspiration! I hear all the stories and tell myself to stop whining!! Isnt it funny how we want instant gratification and it just doesnt happen in weight loss? It took me a decade to get
HERE... back HERE. I figure this may be my last shot at it... Soon I wont be able to do those darn excercises. Although, you wouldnt believe the seniors in the fitness club absolutley DUSTING me on everything! Really embarrassing too. It's one thing to see a 20 something year old "Bambi" running with a glow, next to my schvitzy liesure walk, or using the HAMMER ab crunch while I try to get the belly bar over my belly on the baby ab machine... but I feel about 3 inches tall next to the lil old lady pressing 75 pounds on the pectoral fly at lightning speed next to my lil knee Squezzer. GRUNT.
Now as you can see I am trying to share here... not be chicken little... I know theres a chance of failure... I dont see that.. but hey.. I have learned never to say never! So just smile and pray for me... you can even cheer me on. ::::PLZ::: Just dont beat me up too bad when I discuss that bag of Cheetos in the cupboard. Gawd I didnt really say that did I?
Ok, I'm off.. I'm running....lol BS, I'm just off!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Labels: Quilt Speak
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's 7:00 AM, Do you know where YOUR gym clothes are? I am too overwhelmed, too sad, too confuddled, too asleep... just TOO, to get to the gym yet:( ( stomping my feet inside my head). How do I do this?
I hunted and gathered for the last half hour. I've got the list pad, the coffee, the pen, the news on, computer up....chit. :::I would love one more "down day".
On my list is to unpack the car contents. omg... a mess itself. I brought home Mom's sewing basket and it holds her last WIP ( work in progress). Its her last quilt top, embroidered... and I'm afraid to look at it, touch it, and yep...finish it for her. But I will.
Oh shoot... Ill be back to edit with a pic when I can....
For now please enjoy with me our Mothers song for her slide show presentation.... Sajina.. it means MY BELOVED (Hindu)
I will get my GO TO GUY to show you her slideshow when I ( he) can.
I gotta change the channel...CLIC
Monday, February 15, 2010
Panic hasnt set in yet because I feel mch like a dish rag! I got home on Valentines Evening to a warm welcoming from Mufasa, Ginny and Rudy. All lonesome and patiently waiting. As expected I am still lounging around catching up on emails, messages, facebook and winter Olympics! Seems like everytime my mind wanders to "what do I do first?" I quickly divert my attention back to lounging..lol. :::Bad girl:::
I have been MIA round here 5 weeks, save 1. Mind boggling. I have a non stop absent minded urge to pick up the phone and call Ma to tell her that I made it home ok, as I always have. My Sis suggested that I call Dad, but it just wouldnt be the same would it? Grunt.
Hows blog land? Whats everyone been busy with? Thanks so much for all of your comments, prayers, well wishes and emails. Its very nice to go back and re read over and over again.
I am planning my own personal Bucket List. Mine wont be by the time I kick the bucket, mine will be how much I can STUFF in a bucket each year. Maybe I should create a real bucket and begin filling it... hmmmmmm.
Since 2010 is breathing down my neck, I got out the clipboard. hey! We can call it the Bucket board! okay!
First on the list is to get back to my own DQL ( daily quality of life) Remember those days? Seems like a wierd journey ago dear blog readers... a long time ago. OK... DQL... Fit in my fifties? I'll take it. Walt being ever so supportive of the Pied Pipper Plans bought a membership to a local Gym for Valentines....kinda funny eh? Kinda nice:) He worries about me too. I'm very nervous about it. To be honest.. the last time I did this, was fit at 40 and one of the hardest things I ever did. It changed my entire life. Not sure if I can A: do it all again, B: do it correctly this time, C: Stay fit cause theres no fit at 60 cute sayings. Via Con Dios eh?
I am making plans for a few trips as well...the big one being to get back on the horse so to speak and get to Montreal, get to Blima. I must tell you that I've not been able to stray far from home since the Hawaii trip. Its something that must be done, I feel I'm doomed to squash my own travel dreams, if I do not. Jamie too, was a happy travelor and would not cotton to my homebodyness of late.:::clic:::
I am off to check on my crazy facebook things.. Have a Marvelous Monday:)
* A beautiful Service honoring our Mother
* A great family
* Safe driving home without too many melt downs
* Happy homecoming
*Having a much needed FLYBY visit with Heather
* A plan
*The drive to go with the dream
Monday, February 8, 2010
March 17, 1927- February 7, 2010
Kelly Lee (Kathie) Matt McAdams, Jaclyn Mcadams, Jonathan Sandoval, Nicole Sandoval.
Great Grandchildren, Justin, Daniel, Aviana, Shawn, Jamie, Emily,Jack
Marvelous Mondays include:
Losing the battle, winning the war
Monday, February 1, 2010
Yes, I am still away from home in Auburn with several family members now. Most importantly, Mom. One could say that I am gaining experiance in death. Why would one want to? Three now to my witness, and all of them unique. Is this how we decide how WE want to leave this world? By experiance? Sorry for all the questions. I am a curious one you know.
My Mother is in my Sisters family home. Her room is now lined floor to ceiling with family photos. There are flowers, balloons, a family bible, a book to read to her if you like. Photographs of her already passed Mother, brother, and grandson, sit clearly in her view. Her bed is draped with a handmade quilt that up until this week she fondled a lot.She wears a frilly V necked white gown, and a sparkling gold cross around her neck. Her hair is a bit deshevled, but fluffy and pretty. Her nails long, red and perfectly round. Family and friends come in and out to sit with her. Her daughters, husband and grands crawl in bed with her periodically taking turns loving her up.THIS, I'm sure brings her comfort.
Mom is very close to the balance of physical meets spiritual worlds now, and will pass at any time. She is in no pain and is quite peaceful. Responsive only a few times today, to tell one of us that she loves us. For me personally, just before this post, was to tell me with all the strength she could muster. "I'll be with you". Now this, has given me the same peace. Someone to take care of my James, and still be with me, is all the peace that I need tonight.
We'll be in touch.
Marvelous Monday's will be:
* A strong family
* A peaceful passing for Mom