Thursday, September 30, 2010

Magic Moments Good and Bad

We do not remember the days, we remember the moments.
Author unknown

 And I googled it! Hmmmm

I would TRULY like to forget some days, some moments. I do pretty good at it, but I'm not as good at deleting as I'd sure like to be.  Ya cant say I'm not EXPERIENCED THOUGH RIGHT? Oh sorry, I yelled inside too:) Why is it that there are also bad magic moments that you just cannot lose for the life of ya! I call them Owies. Ask God for a quick bandaid.
If you know me very well at all you know that I play search and find for these (good) moment in times of trouble. I much like that quote a few days ago about failing so many times, that I have I'll stick with that. I dont ever want to know what the word DEFEAT really means. Lets just call them minor set backs shall we? K... I had a moment last night...  hey we should red letter these, make them even more real! K...Lets do it daily! ( dont hold your breath K?) I really would like this blog in print, by each year. What a preservation of history dont u think? Poor grand kids. I think I'll go load a baby quilt and leave you with another form of M & M's!
Magic Moment
* I pulled a 126 x 126" king off my table after 4 gruelling weeks of day and night work. YEP, I sure did cry, but thats how I roll.  I marveled at all of the work I pitched a fit about, but now felt that it helped me to cope in some way. Distract in another way. Make decisions in yet another.I remembered that on Monday I laughed because it wasnt tears dripping on the poor quilt, it was sweat from record breaking heat that day. I criticized myself for not doing better than I had because of the related stressful days.
 I spoke with a BFF who scolded me for just that.
 I was grateful, at this moment, for this pain in the ass blessing, and it wont be easily deleted.

I would love to show it to you here, but I dont have permission yet.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Happy Birthday Justin!

 I wish it was on Monday so that you could WWF it up! Is that what it is? WWF? I think its foolishness but what do I know? I'm just the Nonni!! He is 12, borderline Teen. Better known as TWEENER!!! This picture was taken this summer when he got to actually go ringside and watch his favorite FAKE wrestlers entertain the multitudes! I think he looks a great deal like his Mama here:) Find me some WWF fabric and I'll make you a new quilt. I saw some really cool Nascar?

Have fun at your party and I'll see you next month!
 Love you bunches!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Frijoles de la olla ( Beans In Da Pot)

Oscar de la hoja... is the ONLY way I can remember the name of this Soup! In fact, I had to text my daughter to get the correct spelling! Here's the back story.
Ma.. bless her lil Mexican heart, ( God I miss her!) would not let us girls learn Spanish. We were to speak English only.  ( No Italian either). Being the nosey lil stink that I am was, I would listen when she spoke to the relatives on the phone. I can still hear her now asking her cousin Nikki whats for dinner over there? Now, of course I loved to watch her cook , and I soaked up all that I could. When trying to remember the name of her beans, I could not! BUT... when Dad would watch the fights on TV, this name sounded a great deal like moms beans! :::ingenious right?:::: In yesteryear when I made a pot, Heather would invariably show up. I miss that. I still look out the window...LOL
 Now you all know how I feel about a few things in the kitchen right? one of them being what? Bacon starts! Do not skip this step, or I won't claim the recipe.

• 6 slices of  finely diced bacon
•1 Onion, chopped
2 cloves mince garlic
•Dried beans, 15 bean bag PLUS 1 cup pinto ,rinsed and soaked overnight -- 3 cups total  ( sometimes I will use only pinto. I only do that when I want to specifically make refried beans. For this soup, stick to the mix.

1 especially yummy honey baked ham bone! ( u can sub this out with pork neck bones, ham hocks, or NOTHING at all. Always fabulous, its just my personal favorite with honey baked bone, after a holiday.

• Sea Salt -- 1 to 2 teaspoons

Remove beans from soak and rinse and reserve in colander.
In a 5-7 quart pot, fry bacon and add onion and garlic and saute until translucent, over medium heat.
Stir in the soaked beans and enough fresh water to cover beans by about 1 inch or more. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for  2 hours, or until the beans are cooked through and tender. Add water as needed to keep the beans covered. Remove bones if you used them, pick meat off and return to the pot. Ginger loves a good bone.

Near the end of the cooking time, stir in salt to taste.

Crumble some Mexican cheese over the top before serving if you like.

TIP: Hoping that my kids see this and will not scold me in my senior years for not telling them. Gramas secret ingredient, always in a hidden hand behind her apron, was a sprinkle of sugar. Altho when I use honey baked ham, I omit this due to the honey obviously. But Grama loved those secret ingredients.. so here ya go... I divulged!
TIP #2... We all know that beans are just better on day two right? Well to get that same effect on day one, because we are impatient.. ( I say we like I have a turd in my pocket) Afer beans are completed, remove a cup or more with juice into the blender of food processor. Puree and add back to the pot. Oh Mama if you only knew I have my own tricks!
TIP #3: If you can, get someone  to clean up the horrid mess you just made on your pretty stove top! Gives more time to quilt. Or drink wine.

Clowns In My Coffee?

 "I've missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300

games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot... and

missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
 And that is why I succeed"

Michael Jordan

Well alrighty then! By all accounts I'm about to succeed big time! I am SO READY!

Morning:) Coffee is good but I cant believe I slept so late. I quilted til 3 am, thats why! Its was COOL then! I made a pot of Iced coffee, turned on the tunes and away we went. It doesnt feel so good this morning
Still pondering above quote. I cannot believe my failure track record in the past couple years. I fight my Sybils on a daily basis. The one who is broken, and the one who is a driving force to prevail. Ever hear that song from the 70's, Broken Lady, Gatlin Brothers? U tube Then... look up Chumbawamba - by Tubthumping. Lastly John Mayer, there ya have me... LOLOL Oh Lord wheres the refills???? I just love these artists wo happen to have JUST the right lyrics for your moods eh? For awhile now I've been wailng
P!NK's pissed off tunes! Ok, I cant yak this morning, I gotta move my butt...Its going to be another hot day!
Love the above cartoon!  I always had CLOUDS in MY coffee... but....maybe its from that Lyrics show! LOL
Love yer guts!

Monday, September 27, 2010


Its GO TIME AGAIN! HEADS UP!  But this ones mine.. come onnnnnnnnn

Janes too!

Millie too!


**Now I know how ya get more followers! Ya have a giveaway!!

M & M's For Today

"To keep your character intact you cannot stoop to filthy acts. It makes it easier to stoop the next time."

 Katharine Hepburn
LOL Ya gotta love KH right? I especially liked the ponder food left behind in Saturdays comments by UNKNOWN too! Great cuppa reads.
Good morning:) Happy Monday to you peoples... I burned the oil til 2 this morning, and I feel like a dish ragg.. rag mop... really OLD! My deadline is Thursday, we wont be chatting I need to find some shorts to brave the day. ITS HOTTER THAN EVER HERE!!! Did you here it hit 102 in LA? 20 year record breaker?  upper 90's on the coast?????My sis in Auburn says it went over a hundred there too, so California is enduring yet another Indian summer. Its supposed to be back down to 68 by Thursday. All bets go on Thursday Woohoo!  I guess its ok as I dont have fall clothes anyway. ::sigh::: I need new chit. CLIC
I better get to it.. the quilt is looking marvelous!!
Marvelous Mondays Include:
My moms sewing machine stool to rest on in between backfilling. I really need my Mom.
Good support systems
All my favorite coffee mugs:)
laptopping in bed when I suffer from insomnia
my shop
beach runs when I am overheated
Gingers protection

OMGoodness you wouldnt believe the HOT breeze at 9 AM!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sunday Somethings

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor."

Truman Capote
Geez, why can't there be more quotes with a food analogy like this? I LOVE IT!, And I GET IT! It makes me want to go cook something! NOT.
Good Sunday to you! I have my nose in the quilt but needed a break. I think I texted 6 people and then decided just to blog. I think. Do you realize how much pondering you can get done while nose is in a quilt? I know!  I decided that I am way beyond working n this quilt. Done already come onnnnn. Maybe I will put the KY BOSH on kings. A short attention span you say? I know!!!
I really want to make another YIKES quilt. Remember Walt's? Those batiks are so comfy and easy on the eyes to me. I'll be starting that in my spare time.
I would really love to be down on the beach tonight. Its so warm and just a light breeze. Not sure where this heat wave is coming from, but I sure love coastal weather. ::sigh::: One winning lottery ticket Lord... come on!!! I was out and about yesterday and could NOT believe how many people were in town! The harvest festival was going on, streets blocked off, and everyone was sweaty in 90 degree heat! I thought that was hysterical being a harvest festival and all. Jake tells me that fall has arrived in Idaho. I love Montreal in fall, but you knew that. I personally couldn't stand to work this way, so I split for a few hours! I had a nice time sitting by the surf, pondering away. Theres parts of me that cant let go of parts of me. Not easy to understand, I'm sure, but real none the less. Ah Oh.. I feel DEEP coming on and I need to quilt! CLIC... Meet me here tomorrow for coffee:) In the meantime, wanna see the most beautiful girls in the world? They snatched my work CROCS and teased Nonni:) I miss them so much!
Jamie & Aviana Summer of 2010. 4 Months to Forever

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Working On Saturday, While I Can!

 I'm less interested in WHY we're here and totally devoted to WHILE we're here...

Isn't this great ponder food? I cant take credit for it, mind you. My cousin said it! LOL I nearly fell off the chair when I read it! I have been pondering an entire 24 hours now.  All those Whats it all about Alfie, is such a croc O crap eh? WHO CARES what its all about anymore. Maybe the older I get the more I care about the WHILE I'm STILL here!
While I'm still here, I want to be devoted too. To the WHILE of it all.
I am listening to Frankie Valle and sippin a cuppa. Did you people see Jersey Boys? Fantastic show! I love their music. The sun aint gonna shine anymore... ::SIGH::
While I'm here I'd like to enter and take home a blue at a major quilt show with MY OWN quilt.
While I'm here I'd like a turkey neck job. OK, throw in boobs too.
While I'm here I'd like to make each day count. I mean really count. Too many have passed without a light.
I could go on and on.. HEY! This must be a bucket list eh?
So the owner of the king came by. Squealed like a pig, then cried.. then I cried... then we shared some skin,  hugging a lot. It makes it all worth it. Now I need to bring it on home and finish the beast! As soon as I wake up.

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Courage To Change:::again:::

Courage is the human virtue that counts most,

courage to act on limited knowledge and insufficient evidence.
That's all any of us have."
Robert Frost

Thats positive, Right?" Of course, right. But what do I know anyway.........Some may call it a free spirit, some a lost soul in search of a loss. Others:::that would be me::: call it in search of a new normal, because lifes too short to be a puddle of mud.
I figure....what the hell could kill my spirit now? Not a damn thing, because I've been better, but I've been worse!  :::looking for her big girl panties::: Changes are just inevitable for some I guess, and that means Moi`. I have cornered the market on "change". Change of life, check. Change of residence, check x.... I forget how many now. Change of mind? Check. Change of associations? Check. Change of careers? Check. Change of haircolor. Check. I gotta tell ya, I am afraid to say that I will NEVER like eggplant or lima beans... because I have learned never to say never! As soon as ya do.... BLAMO. Why cant I just be normal and change my tastes in lingerie? Change my hairstyle and get myself a new bitch cut or somethin? DAMN.
So I'm working on more changes. Dont worry, I wont be pulling another Lucy and opening a Bed & Breakfast again. Althooooo... no nevermind. I will keep you posted, and hopefully chat mindlessly while I keep you all in the dark awhile longer. I have a bunch of work to do just trying to locate my MUCHNESS. Could be that I am just feeling a tad bit stronger since the whole tumor thing is behind me:)  Life is promised to no one, therefore to live in fear, sad, confused or angry, is a terrible waste of love to give.
In the meantime, send me good thoughts and a tickle smile, we'll be fine. I'm off to group and then the owner of this king beast is actually coming to visit her quilt! New one on me there too!!!  I hope she doesnt plan on standing over my shoulder.::::wheres the wine?::::
I am so fortunate to be a quilter... I love my art, don't you? I hope THAT never changes. :::slight panic attack feeling going through:::
<-----limited knowledge and insufficient evidence. Yep.....thats how I roll.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Happy Birthday Gift For Blima

Happy Birthday Blima!!!!
 I KNOW you are smiling all day, in between puppy pee pee walks!
Dear Jackson.
A black standard 12 week old new baby of Blima's. He arrived just in time to help her celbrate her 50'th birthday! ( again)
I am certain they both have much love to give one another, and I cant wait to meet him!!
Congratulations Blima , Love ya bunches!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I held my breath, and the counter top and waited for the doctors words....................



Tumor is benign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this how u spell it?


Dr. just called.....

 Benignnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, congratulations MEEEEE!!

Thank you to my Heavenly Father, and all you lovely lil prayer warriors! I gotta go call my Sissy!

Grama Stash Update

How is THIS for a sock it to me kinda quilt? I'm making chinese coins from gramas stash here. It WOKE ME UP this morning, for sure! On the table below you can see that I'm closing in on the beast eh? I am hoping to bring it home this week. As you can also see, with all this work and deshevled life, the shop is suffering. GOT A MAID? I actually sweep it everyday, but you wouldnt know it unless you looked for the thread bunches in the garbage:) I have a great deal of work to do, and I just have such a difficult time of it. I can say that about everything, but why bother... PUSHER :::push her::: is my middle name. Have a great day dear blog readers, and I will too:)

Monday, September 20, 2010

M & M's Today

* The birth of new baby!
Congratulations Heather & Family,
I need a blogabout pic!


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Not A Foodie Friday

(It's an MRI Friday!)

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem
 and smarter than you think."
 Christopher Robin 

How true is THIS? Wow. (thanks Terri) I have been using this as an incantation here of late. (whatever works, right?) Self talk chants do for me. I change them like my songs and prayers...... short, choppy, meaningful and often! I sometime call them Popcorn Prayers. They pop in and out of my head and thru my lips, all over the place. This morning, all are in full swing, and needed.
Mornin` Dear blogreaders! Hows your cuppa? I am eating a toasty while typing. The keyboard is suffering. Its freezing in here! I think we went down to 35 last night!  I need to make Rudy a warmer quilt. He cant take the cold very well. He hasbeen relocated to the shop here with me, and its considerably different weather in here. Hey! Tomorrow is his 10th birthday!:::Wheres the birdie muffin recipe?::::
I'm not cooking today. No recipes needed. I REALLY want to go out to dinner soon. I was out and about yesterday, passed my favorite Sushi house and swear I swooned aloud! I remembered dinners out as a distant memory. What a jacked up summer. GRUNT. Lets see, new chapter in Journey to a Harvest moon.
"Four months to Forever". Good one, write that down. I wonder if I'll EVER finish that book? Oh well, its good to ponder.. safe to dwell on.
OK Peeps, Im off to make it a great day (anyway)! Much to do. I think I'll go wash my car:::Geez I LUB her::: on the way to the postal just to make me feel good. Hey? Does anyone else do that? When my car is all gased up and clean as a whistle, its like a perfect Mani/Pedi? YA JUST FEEL BETTER?
I TOLD u it aint easy being me! If I had the funds I'd go PURTY everything up!  Ya know, Me, Ginny, my car...etc....

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Happy Birthday Jake!

Its not the years in your life, its the life in your years
Abe Lincoln

Happy Birthday Jake! I miss you! I cant believe its been a whole month and Lord only knows when you'll be back!!! How old are you? I think its 26. I dont think he visits blogs, but we can say hey anyway! I love that he is happy in Idaho. I hate that he is WAY over there in Idaho. Oneeeeee little winning lottorey ticket. yep yep yep... fly over monthly. I'll be calling when I wake up enough:) Oh! I emailed ya too.. check it!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion."

– Abraham Lincoln
Pretty simple huh?
Got the call. MRI set for Friday. I have had one on my knee, but they tell me ( while nurse chuckled) that this one is very different. I guess! I need drugs and an IV? Wow... when it rains it pours eh? I hope knowing really IS better. I'll keep you posted if you'll keep me on your prayers list

I have the huge list today, and GROUP, and visitors, I should have burnt the midnight oil on the beast quilt. Now that I'm waking up I feel the anxiety returning. CHIT. I'll come back for more chat if I can.
Have a great humpday:)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Sweet New Year, A Week Late.

First, It Seams To Be Sew is hosting a giveaway! Go see!

Now, Good Morning.. First cuppa, be kind:)  I'm doing pretty good at my 7 AM sewing starts. :::say that 3 times fast whenu wake up:::: Altho I must say that my legs are quite sore. Standing so long seems to be getting harder. No worries, matches my sore right side eh?
Today I am making this dish which we all love and comes from my BFF Blima's Bubbie ( go ahead, 3 times fast). Typically its made for Jewish New Year, except here, its made whenever I have a sweet/savory tooth. ( shock, daily) No really, I make it at least 3 or 4 imes a year. Especially when I find English short ribs on sale and very "meaty". Give it a try, you will here massive humming at the dinner table!


2 lbs short ribs ( or more)
1/2 cup water
2 lb carrots, peeled & sliced
2 sweet potatoes, quartered,
2 whole onions
1 cup honey or brown sugar (more if desired) I use ½ cup br. sugar, 1/2 cup honey. (cant make up my mind?) To clarify: I mix 1/2 cup honey and 1/2 cup brn sugar together, then pour over mixture before roasting.
3/4 lb prunes (about a cup) make sure no pits
Juice of 1/2 lemon
salt and pepper to taste (lots of fresh black pepper)

Sprinkle short ribs with salt and pepper, in a fry pan with 2 tablespoons hot oil, sear on all sides, remove and place in roasting pan with all other ingredients.
Cover and cook for 2 hours at 350. Uncover, stir and let brown about 1 hour more.
If the sauce hasn’t thickened enough add 2 tablespoons of flour to ¼ cup of cold water, stir until smooth, add to tzimmes, mix well and bake for a few minutes more.

*Noteworthy TIP:
When I SEAR the ribs, I drench them in flour first.( like your pot roast) This makes the last step unnessesary. I just didnt want to change Bubbie's recipe written.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Are Monday's Really Marvelous?

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

You KNEW that was coming didnt you? I cant fool the dearblog readers:)
Afternoon:) It dawned on me that I hadnt done my M & M's yet today. I am nose in fabric since EARLY this morning.I cant believe that its already 3:00 PM . I get a lil break here, then 2 more hours, then dinner preps. I am in hopes to come back in the shop after dinner. HOPE HOPE HOPE. I am really wanting to be done with this one. Actually its a good brain rest since stressing about doctor calls isnt doing me much good. Quilting IS. I would also love to spend an hour to go and see what all you bloggers are writing about! I need a time out eh? I agree. There is so much crap going on in my own world that I havent a clue about yours! I think maybe tonight, ( after Lost, season 5 finale) I will surf. For now, back to it.. I wish very much that I could stay and chat... really chat. GRUNT.

M & M's include:

The tension in my Gammil playing nice with specialty threads
My Mama's Nails
Rudy not biting visitors when he goes on walkabout
Gloria from my group, stopping in.
creamy creamless butternut squash soup!
My temp bridge still in there!
Did I mention good tension?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Love Of Self

I have noticed that there are those who believe that they alone have to power to love our loved ones through something,albeit anything, yet they seem bound by kryptonite to use the same power for love of themselves. It could just be a silly self perception. It could be that some KNOW where our kryptonite lives.
Would it then be a blessing, this gift? Or a curse?
I once went on a self love journey, which I now understand was destructive on all fronts, myself included.This alone may be a good reason for said kryptonite.:::insert aha moment::: Geez I love to think on paper, or keyboard....whatever...
My new shrink I told you peoples about is quite the direct one. She doesn't see kryptonite in me. She sees Life's journey. Bless her lil pee pickin` heart eh? I wonder if she saw my chain hanging from my rear view mirror that states Life's a journey? I think I'll throw it out next trip. It takes a lot to love, or un-love ones self. A lot of life's journey. I wonder who I'll turn out to be. I hope that I love me more than I don't. I hope that I love myself more than I am pissed off. Bitterness isn't pretty, and I'm finding it difficult to relieve myself of it. I wish I had more of one or the other as opposed to locking up my insides and seething.
 An intellectual, I am not. Analytical maybe, Ms Toughy pantz junior with kryptonite, for sure. Hey I think I should put that Nickel quilt together that I wrote on and purge it. Maybe I should have been a shrink? Heather? What u think? LOL
 I better get to work and ANALYZE THIS.

***special TY to Nina for the perfect Pic***

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Chunking On 9.11.

"Character may be manifested in the great moments,
 but it is made in the small ones."
– Phillips Brooks

I'm doing well on the bad habit breaking and getting right to work. I have a fail safe in place. My list has "chunking" on it. Blocks of half hours to do certain things ( un quilting related). I find that if I do them in chunks I dont mind giving up the 15 minutes /half hour... and I really didnt miss it at all. ( more productive). In fact, my :chunks" are getting larger without even trying. I said I only had time to walk 15 minutes, I did half hour... woohoo me:)
 Now if only I could apply this to my time management in the shop! What I do takes more than a chunk. However, I am piecing 5 quilts and I HAD a hard time getting to them, until I started "chunking" with them. :::this is what happens when you work alone, you play with your own mind::::
Note that the chunking business has little to do with todays Quote, except that little moments are proving to be monumental. If only I were in better spirits, look the heck out world eh? I have given myself half hour to tend to my eyes tonight. I have a little condition I dont know that I told you about.. Bleferitus. Well, the stupid things eatting my lashes! When I went to the eye doctor he told me that I COULD buy some LATISSE to repair them, however insurance wont cover this. WOW. Evidently my tears are producing too much oil and clogging my ducts. Does insurance pay for a med to make you stop tear production? DO THEY? So... I will treat them myself with a nice cleaning and EVOO-ing. Half hour. I can chunk it. I cant wait til I get to the stage when I chunk out some time to make some raspberry Biscotti!!! Hell yeh!! ( oh, excited, look out). I'm off to chunk out half hour on the Rudy cage... GEEZ that bird is drty. I already chunked in my pampering! ( days gone by THAT was an entire Thursday! Ahhhhh) And of course, I chunked out time for YOU.
Have a nice Saturday, Chunk some time out for different views. Anda few minutes for 9.11. too.

Forget this day in history? NOPE. September is such a memory month for me. So many birthdays, anniversaries, road trips.... Wow, just think of the log I'll have when I'm 70!

Happy Hatchday Sir Rudy!!

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face."

– Eleanor Roosevelt
Good Saturday mornin` to you peoples. How goes YOUR DQL? I think I will bring it on home with the design work on this king beast quilt... and make a good dish for dinner... hmmmm How about Moroccan Lamb Chops?:::thinkin:::: with some Israeli Couscous and fresh broccolini? How man of ya love broccolini? Geez I love it too! So tender and delicate flavor. Beats the stems off regular broccoli eh? I know!
Now you KNOW I'm cooking for Sir Rudy's birthday right? Yep yep yep... Happy birthday Rud Rud! Today its been 10 years of PITA bird! Funnily enough the marriage is the same...hmmmmm Legally, that is.
OK, so... I started his birthday with a coconut cookie. JES FER FUN. I love to watch his eyes pin in and out when he is thoroughly swooned by a "bite" of his favorite things. me... LOVES cookies! lol
An AHA moment occured to me this morning of our likenesses too. I am "attached" to certain kinds of things and literally go mental if its moved or taken, misplaced...whatever. I have NO IDEA why this is.:::character flaw?::::
I even have my Mamy's cutlery counted on a daily basis! OCD? IF there isn't 12 of each there I am absolutely insane to its whereabouts! For the most part, It seems to be stuff with personal attachment to it. Is anyone else this way? Come on... tell me! Certain linens, decor items, furniture... whatever.. if it holds sentiment, I am mental woman about it. Other stuff... doesn't really matter, no matter its monetary value. Weird, I think.
MRI Update:  I lived through it, although I was noticebly DRUNK FOR HOURS afterward? It really is a good thing Walt showed up to drive me home, I dont think I would have made it. Now we wait. GRUNT. Another character flaw... impatient. Drunk wasnt so bad... And guess what? We had a lovely Sushi Stop! No cooking! Ahhhhhhh
Did you hear about all of the student loan defaults going on in the country? How do ya do that? I thought it was UNforgivable.... Watch the news! Obama isnt holding people to it! Holy crap things are running through my mind I tell ya!
OK, Im awake. I better get to it now that I have my ponder food lined up. Thanks dear blogreaders! Make it a great Saturday and so will I. Know why? At least 100 prayer warriors got my back! TYTYTYTY

Friday, September 10, 2010

Report on "D" Day

I made it. Dang it, I'm still breathing. I don't get that.
My Eye report was good. no increase.. :::phew::::
My Biopsy was a complete torment. Forget the compression they had me under, lets discuss the freaking NEEDLE going all directions and not finding the SWEET SPOT!!! Oh yeh!!! Lateral THERE, diagonal NOT. Consequently they could not get a decent sample because they needed to go in diagonally. I'm not happy. Just when I could not cry anymore tears of a low threshold for pain they tell me I need to return and repeat, AFTER I have an MRI of said Right Boobie. How can I have a lump from the up/down, and not from the side?Is it a pancake?
I was upset. I will NEVER do that alone again. I should have had support on board. BIG mistake. I had no support. I texted my daughter, and my Bff. In between squeezes and sticks. I was REALLY a mess. You dont really want to hear all the dirty little things I'm saying right about now. CLIC
My shrink appt was next. Oh Lord this woman is a force to be reckoned with. I got more homework! She went on and on, and I wanted to say Hello? I just had a failed Biopsy? She wouldnt have cared. Whatever... Not sure I like this at all. Sometime I think there is just no place for me to be now. I need a hero. ( sorry, song just ran across my mind)
I will be turning in early as I feel like I weigh three times my REAL weight. Imma think about TGIF and make it a better day:) :::my thumbs are pointed up::::

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby James

James most favorite artist was The Dave Matthews Band. Funnily enough, this song was written in 2008. I dunno...
Its bittersweet. Painfully comforting. I miss your calls, your emails, IM's.. I miss your laugh, I miss your eyes. I want your hugs and need you to come home and tease me. I miss you Munz,  Happy 29th Birthday!
Anyone else have trouble remembering ages of their kids? I sure do.. and Grands? OMG! I still think Karen is 30!
I have DMB Blasting all day, hope you're listening Munz!
PS: I have enabled comment moderation to kick out the bad apple posts.. no worries, I will be able to post immedietly from my blackberry, so stay with me!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Lets Break A Bad Habit, Shall We?

"A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project."

– Abigail Van Buren

Hello? My name is Dear Gina and I have some bad habits. Got a program? I have decided to break a few. Decide.... to decide means to me... YA CANT GO BACK. So, This weeks undo it myself project is to NOT get up, get coffee, bang off a few walls til I reach the swivel rocker, boot up  the lap top, and wake up with the people in the box. The decision is to come straight to the shop, coffee in hand, and to the BIG BOX and wake up in here. I figure I will shave a good half hour off my schedule and get to work sooner. One thing I love, and dislike just as much is that darn lap top! I really enjoy relaxing with it on my lap, however I cant stand my info, pics, recipes, links, all over the place! Is it on my blackberry? Is it on the desk top? Is it on the laptop? Maddening! I am the man on the grassy knoll!!! So, I'll be killing 2 birds with one stone. ( what a horrid saying this is). Improving my schedule, and keeping my files more organized. Here we go...........
On the quilting front:
I am SLOW GOING on a 126 king beast show quilt. I fear that I have allowed it to intimidate me. Its one of the times that I wish I was Ronda. chit.
I am only 18 inches in... mercy.... I do have others in the works that I can jump over to.. the grama stash quilts. I'm doing my best to occupy my mind, because tomorrow is the day. I have it all mapped out. I am busy busy from sun up to sun down. I want so much to erase the last few years. I want overs. I want to hold my son again. Those are my wants, I NEED to heal. I fear I never will. CLIC

So off I go, another 18 inches? Maybe? Have a happy humpday, wish me luck on bad habit number 1!

Monday, September 6, 2010

M & M Laboring On Labor Day.

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

– Annie Dillard
This mornings quote woke me up for sure!
So that would be......blogging, cooking, cleaning, and quilting? Not necessarily in this order?
(shoot I forgot crying)
M & M's include:
*For opportunity
*for soup ingredients so I don't have to stop and go to the store
*For Rudy being OKAY
* For LOST episodes
*For a good shop to hide in
* For my internal strength
*For that new hair its good:)
* For my hair! I'm considering a whack job tho:)

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Absense Of Worry

How might one acheive this? Do you peoples know? I personally don't think its possible.I contend that even with every windfall of money or emotional riches, come a new and improved set of issues to worry about. And vice Versa.
Ma always said that worry is a sin. To worry is to not trust in your Father. Hmmmm
I find that worry is good on a small scale. To worry/ponder a bit, and go on to believe. However, when worry begins to fill up, spill over and flood down the street the above does not apply. Not for me anyway. I find that when THAT point hits I become frozen and can no longer function well. That could be why I am hooked on EVERY season of LOST these days. Too much of my own drama caused me to want to care about someone elses instead. I dont have my head buried in the sand mind you, I have many"what if" solutions spinning around. Its just a nice resting spot to watch LOST issues instead. I cried last evening when Charlie died. Know what? It felt good to cry over something so insignificant to my own life. Yep, Afterall, I have cornered the market on tears in the last 2 years right? Well, I do share that corner with my BFF Ronda.  But poor Charlie!!!!!He reminded me so much of Jamie... sweet, funny, caring, and goofy. I was attached to  I don't know how many of you peoples have even watched LOST so I maybe shouldn't even discuss it. Anyway, after the tears stopped, season 3 ended, I went to bed and the worry resumed. MY OWN WORRY. Then Mom's words made me guilty. GRUNT. This worry crap is way to consuming.. no wonder I feel sick and tired!! Makes me mad. ( like that's hard to do eh?)
I don't have to worry about Karen's job hunt any longer. My prayers of course went unanswered again as she has been scooped up by a huge health care company in the Bay area. Not here. GRUNT.  My non worry there was quickly diverted to WHAT ABOUT AVI??? Maybe I have NO ABSENSE of worry. No wonder I cannot function properly.
Pictured above are my worry stones. I do not know of their origin, history, meaning....I just like rocks? I keep them on a silver tray in the hallway. I used to keep them in a vase on my nightstand, but it seemed to cause brain racing. Now I just pick ONE and ponder. (sometimes). I suppose I am no different than others with silly quirks like my prayer parrot post its. Ain't easy being me member? OR: Everyones got their own schtick?
I had a nice lunch out yesterday with a member of my stitching group. I think Mom sent her. She said things during our 2 hour visit that only Mom would know. Maybe when I cry for Mom, Mom sent Gloria. Gloria wants to adopt me. I'm a little confuddled...
Oh Lord the minds a terrible thing to waste... I'm gonna go boil some eggs and stick in a Tony Robbins audio... I'll do the one on relationships and see if I can relate!
Don't worry about me, Mom doesn't like it.
Did you know that whatever we FOCUS on we move toward? ahuh, pay attention, it happens!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Better Days May Be Coming

I have honestly spent too much time blogging 4 blogabouts and backspacing them all.I even blogged my BFF and told her I couldnt blog!  What ya make of that? I began with the new quilt... then changed to the new grama stash I need to cut up.. that didnt work so I began chat about my Jerry springer family drama. CLIC on that one.... I decided that the only thing heavy on my mind is me. I am a pissed off person now. It doesnt matter how hard I try, I am. Its all inside I think. It feels like an evil to express it all. So I avoid it.
I went to see the new shrink yesterday. I didnt have any high hopes at all since my last 2 attempts failed miserably with one prozac happy doctor and the other wanting me to do breathing excercises with her. But I KNOW that I need help that I do not posess at this time. Lets call it waning strength for now.
As I entered her private eye kind of office, ( picture Colombo) I thought "oh wow, what have I done?" She greeted me with a hearty handshake, direct eye contact and asked WHY I was there. I promptly told her that I need help. With only one hour of a history lesson she summed it all up with "I think we can work well together.  I believe in direct action, do you want to come back?"
Alllrighty then I thought. I agreed to begin the journey with miss toughy pantz. She gave me homework! Homework? (hey its not touching my toes and breathing heavily so Ill try it). I am already on the third of my assignments and its getting tougher. Mostly because my homelife is not great. ( what an understatement). I dont know how much I can share here, or will... but I will try. I always say that which is no longer inside of me, can no longer hurt me. So we shall see. Funnily enough, we will meet again after the BIOPSY sept 9.... I have a very full schedule that day. Not on purpose, but it happened that way.
Now.... thanks for the nooner... I better get busy:)

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