"A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project."
– Abigail Van Buren
Forgive me Dear Blog readers for I have sinned.
Now dont start emailing that I am making fun of this confession prayer. Im just writing a tell all Tuesday for ya.
I'm sorry that I have been away. I have been busy re adjusting. A.G.A.I. N.
My fAamily wonders why I hate doctor appointments. I tell them because its ALWAYS un nerving. Drama ensues each and every time. A few weeks ago, same thing as last years mammo scare. Only this time, I am not so fortunate. After my exam I was told that I now have Diabetes. I was listening to the good doctors words and looking in a side mirror at the same time. I saw my Mother. A.G.A.I. N.
While Diabetes is not a death sentence, it is a dibilitating disease that I DO NOT WISH TO DEAL WITH. It looks like I must. I am currently on an emotional roller coaster, determined to win, sad, resolute, pissed off, afraid, and about 10 other emotions thrown into the mix.
I have been on a mission to get better, get things accomplished, get better.... and now this. GRUNT. I know I allowed this to happen. I am not fooling myself. Maybe I thought I was exempt from such a fate. I mean come on... hasnt enough crap happened that I can have some good stuff happen now? I find it ironic that in the same week I had great news, I had this news just after. I am SO not calling bad things to happen! WTH? Ok, so... the resolute Sybil appears. I'm all over this. I will irraticate this from my life. Seven days of the perfect life change in food intake. Check. Excercise, not checked yet. I freaking hate excercise. My idea of good excercise is a couple good hours whirlling a cart around Costco. Grunt. But I will. I'm scouring Craigslist for a treadmill, and Ginger is pumped and ready to do Mommy battle. I need more battle buddies. Come walk your friend, K?
I swore on myself that I would never suffer the pricking pain my Ma and Grandma did.. but I never DID anything to prevent it. Shame. I spoke to Ma about this. To Munz as well. To Walt, to Karebear, to friends, to all who will listen to me Kvetch. As I said, I go from being determined and strong, to planning my own funeral next to my boy. Its really NUTS I tell you. NUTS.
Okay, so as not to bore you, I will get back to my quilt. Which by the way is the ONLY thing keeping me together. A.G.A.I.N.
Thank God for quilting.
Wish me luck in this quest of mine dear blog readers. For you prayer warriors, please throw me on your list.