Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Comaraderie Of Colleagues

Geez I feel needy! Ever get this way? I need to talk! I need to share skin! I need to laugh!
I need! Sometimes I just get too darn sensitive, I know, but damn it. I REALLY need some good stuff to happen around me! Enough already! I try VERY hard to stay positive. I do this on an hourly basis. But sometimes the waves of despair overcome me! I miss my boy. My minds eye carries his eyes, and when I weep, so do they. Why does this happen? I shudder a lot. A quiet thunder of of unbelieveable pain, shock and absolute horror at the thought of reality. Still today, over a year later, reality bowls me over time and time again. Come on! Is it really true? Wait. Clic.

I dont think I have worked this hard since I was in my twenties. All I can say is hurry winter! What gets me the most is my uncanny NEED to sell sell sell, then wonder what the hell did I do that for?::;competitive side of me::: Much like that Fred Flinstone episode when Freds eyes go buggy when he hears the word BET! Did you see it? Do you know what I mean? It is so darn hard to be me.
My boy Jake came this week with the Fam. They stayed only long enough to watch me run like a nutbar, and get me sick! ( thanks Jake) I miss the kids already. While it hurt to say Jamie's name aloud, it warmed me to snuggle her, touch & kiss her tender neck. She is walking everywhere now and so adorable! She is quiet, happy and easy to please. Shawn is the investigator. So curious and full of life and so in love with his Daddy:). Jake took us to dinner and I had a whole 2 hours off! Jamie number one would be over the moon for these kids. I wish so much that he would left me with a grand. Shoot.. clic

Hey! The whole reason for the blogabout was in the title.. I forgot! ::: menopause:::
The quilt workshop.. retreat... class.... no matter the wording is a much needed stitch & bitch week end! I wish that I had more prep time, but I will be lucky to capture people at the airport and KNOW what day it actually I dont think anyone will mind that Im not ready.. we will GET ready together right? It will be so nice to have quilt speak going on. Warm hugs, laughter & learning. :::I didnt say wine, see.. I can be good:::::
I know.. I REALLY know that the heart of life is still good. I just sometimes feel like stomping my foot with hand on hip and having a 6 year old throw down tantrum, demanding answers to questions. If not answers, at least a smoother ride and happier times. As always... thanks for the chat. Now I better do the dishes.

You Know The Drill! <--click it!


Becky said...

Sorry it was so rough today. (and sometimes everyday). I have a son in heaven and some days I just weep uncontrollably. Other days I seem fine.
Feel free to vent here anytime. We can take it!

Pieceful Passions said...

Wish I was there to hug you in person. I can't even imagine the pain you feel. I am glad you have friends that truly understand. I am glad you have this beautiful family and the joy of grandchildren. You are in my prayers, today Gina.

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