Friday, November 13, 2009

The Heart Of Life Still Good

It was a drunk driving accident. My James was only 26. Just horrid. A young life, no wife or children yet. A manager of Sprint cell phone stores. He loved to fish, and all outdoor sports really. His best friends were his dog "Dakota" and his brothers. He was best friend to all, and they all couldnt wait to tell me this. He adored his family and desperatley wanted one of his own. He was kind and sensitive, and loved his Mother ( & Father) very much.
I am forever changed and heartbroken. I truly believe that I have yet to find Gina anywhere that I look yet. I do find comfort in my art, and in the constant support network of friends,family, colleagues and customers, children, grands, and hubby. God knows this sustains me through an otherwise nightmare of a life. I wait patiently for peace, while I continue to live and ask why. One of the most often questions I ask is WHEN will the feeling of the other shoe dropping will subside. I want to scream "PLEASE do not take anyone else I love, PLEASE!"
Now you may be wondering why I am saying all of this today. Well....beyond the STILL incoming email questions that I get asking WHY.....
I am attending my daughters college graduation tomorrow. Its been a long road but she has finally become the nurse she has always wanted to be. I am so very proud of her as she is the FIRST college Graduate in my family on either side. Karen has always had what it takes to succeed in whatever she sets out to do. I dunno where she gets this from:::wink:::
I will proudly shed tears through smiles while still living vicariously through her! That cap and gown picture will hang in a predominant place in this home as a constant reminder that I helped to make
Also, I will see my grands, bring them dresses, sweaters, kisses oh my... and take comfort in all of this, for the heart of life is still good. Since most of the family will be in attendance, I am hopeful that Jamie will be too. I'll save a seat for him.
Look for blogabout next week of her beautiful smile, and mine:)
As always dear blog readers, thanks for the vent:)
Take care of you:)


Colleen said...

Gina, I am so sorry you have lost your darling son. My heart and soul go out to you. I lost my darling niece also age 26 in an arson fire in Oklahoma City 9 yrs ago, reading your story brings it all back. I would love to put you in touch with my sister as she has lived through what you are going through now and of course, still it and always will be. She is an amazing survivor. You can read her story if you can pull up The Daily Oklahoman newspaper Nov 9, 2009. She was interviewed after arson fires took 3 more lives in OKC. Our Jennifer age 26 had only been on her own for 28 days, working as manager for Estee Lauder at Crossroads Mall in OKC. We are forever changed but our faith lifts us up above the despair. One of the quilts on my blog is Jenny's Fan Club, that I made for my sister, you can read her story there too. My prayers will be with you and your family. Congratulations on your daughter's graduation from college, I am sure she will be a successful nurse. Please know you are not alone in your grief.
Sincerely, Colleen

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

All I can say is, prayers are with you. Congratulations on your daughters achievement. I know you are proud of her.

Anonymous said...

Gina, I know all too well the pain you are having... Our sons want us to wear our shoes and bright ones with pride, march in their memories and never allow them to be forgotten.... Congrats to you and Karen, I am proud of both of you....
We will never have the answer in this life, we will always ask why, we will always have a hole in our hearts but we cannot forget or allow them to be forgotten.. Love U More..

Anonymous said...

your mother's pride shines though the computer screen. well deserved pride in all your children. the strength you show in just getting on with each day is amazing.

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