Sunday, February 21, 2010

Put Mama In The Trunk/ RE POST

I came across this story while seaching for a lost recipe... I thought about changing the channel, but it was such a fun time, I could not let it go without reposting.

I love requests! Heathers right, I should do requests! LOLOL

I decided to ask Mom to join me for a Road Trip to Beaver Utah, for a funeral a couple years back. I knew that she wouldn't be excited about going with me, so I sweetened the pot by bribing her with a detour to her sisters home in Las Vegas. Worked beautifully....or so I thought.
What in the world was I thinking starting out in CA, take Highway 80 to Salt lake, down to Beaver, and then shot over to Las Vegas... Piece of cake... MY FOOT! I think it turned out to be 1800 miles one way!! I don't remember now!!!

It began fine, chatting and singing, and gossiping about anyone who wasn't in the car.. (RULES)
Mom was seemingly happy, congenial if you will, but that didn't last very long. She soon began to periodically scold me for my speed. Now, I'm in the salt flats for Pete's sake, and a whistle clean driving record, but somehow I felt like Rainman, trying to convince her that I drive good in the driveway!
Mom is also diabetic, and ever watchful of the food clock. So of course, she spied any eating establishment we past, while watching her watch. (Now who's rainman eh?) I took very good care of her mind you, and I think she truly just needed to gripe a bit. So I thought, why not.... Sometimes, ya just gotta gripe. She was "on one" about a CD that she had forgotten to bring along, and wanted me to find a store to buy this CD.. Who was it.... ::thinkin:::Carmen? Gospel, I know...I'll keep thinking.. but I'm almost sure that's it.. How could I forget?
She wore me down. She made me do it.. made me tell her that if I HAD a trunk, she would surely be in it! ( I had a Road Ranger, no trunk) OMG You would have thought I started WW3. Now the griping turned UGLY....and I was reminded of everything she did for me as a child , including 32 hours of labor and delivery, That time I got my sisters toes caught in the spokes of my bike.... and everything wrong I had ever done as a teenager. What a fun ride.... I laughed alot, and so did she.. we passed the time and it was all a good thing. We had a wonderful hotel stay mid way and the pool relaxed her quite a bit. And.. we found her beloved CD... THE ONLY ONE IN THE CAR ( ahh u are with me eh? THE only one in the car... smooth move..NOT)

Our time in Beaver was pleasant. So good to see family and old friends. I'm sure Mom was delighted daily. However, she was ON THE CLOCK, to get to Las Vegas , to her sisters. In hindsight, I think now that she was in a hurry to get everywhere? Maybe, Home? I got in trouble big time stopping for lunch in St George to see my cousin there... wow... but then she did have good fun gossiping about that side of the family, from St George into Las Vegas.
Finally... She is in her sisters arms, and I feel victorious! They marched hand in hand looking so darn cute from behind, to bingo halls, casinos on the strip, restaurants on every block for 3 days. At which time Mom says to me.. " Gina? I think we need to hit the road.. I need to get home!" Alrighty then Ma.... get in the trunk! ( I got smacked)
Little did I know that there was a huge storm coming in over the Tehachepe mountains...WHILE they were doing road construction, AND... it was getting dark. But hey, I am woman right? I can do this. We had Carmen in the CD player, and that's all we needed.. so said Mom. (her version of Jesus takes the wheel?) Help me......

Mom sang, and prayed aloud while I battled the mountain, the buckets of rain, and the defroster that just wasn't cutting the mustard. My hands were white knuckled and sweaty... but we were going for it! Now Mom wants a hotel, she is tired of fighting this battle... Have you ever seen a hotel either side of Barstow? I couldn't find one, but then again, it was flooding around me. I told her to continue singing, or the trunk was going to be a makeshift reality. She laughed, and sang louder, while she said you damn well better find a hotel Gina. OMG.. she slays me!

No hotel, no restaurants, just falling rocks and water. The windshield wipers full blast, just like the fans and Carmen..... I had to get over the mountain, and that's that. Every once in awhile, I raised my hand to the dashboard, over the defrosting fan, to dry my sweaty palms. Just a little Queens wave to help me keep a grip on the wheel u know? I noticed that Mom was doing the same as me every couple minutes. She continued to sing, and to pray aloud. This Carmen CD was working on my last nerve, and I LIKE gospel tunes!
I finally couldn't TAKE IT ANYMORE, and asked Mom.... "Mom? Why in the heck are you drying your hands like me?" She looked at me, quite seriously, and said "Gina... I thought we were praising the Lord together with a show of our hands raised and waving to our Father?"

I began to laugh until I cried, and then I laughed and cried even more.... She is now so mad at me I think she is fuming out of her ears. I couldn't even stop the car on this mountain, cause I couldn't see through the rain OR the tears!

Finally down... looking for a freeway, she called me a wierdo. (like that's news) I never told her that she was mistaken about my hand over the fan. I couldn't tell her. She KNOWS that God got us over that mountain, and that's that.
Bakersfield was the only thing I could find, a seedy motel, that we weren't happy about, but spent. Mom griped and griped, and I just pulled her into a room... at the door, she spied a poorly dressed female at the top of the stairs, and said OMG GINA, we need to keep praying, I think this is a place for business other than sleeping. I said shhh Mom please don't say anything. She said well, (LOUDLY) "WHAT ARE THEY DOING UP THERE??? I will if they bother me, and you cant stop me." I said Ma.... theres a makeshift trunk, a wet lonely road, and 4 hours to drive home... you choose. She got in the room, blocked the door with a chair, and complained that there was no CD player for Carmen to sing to us.

To this day, Mom tells anyone who listens about Gina wanting to put her Mother in the trunk

To this day I tell anyone who listens that my Mother prayed us over the Tehachepes. Via defrosters.

Side note: She still calls once inwhile to say.... "Gina? ::whining::....I miss our trip we took, Ya done good Buttercup."I roll my eyes and say, you know Ma... me too...


Freda said...

Too, too funny Gina. I can just picture that. Glad Mama got you over the mountain.

Anonymous said...

Next time you tell a story like this, PLEASE post a warning. This not only needed a spew warning, but a pee the pants warning.

OMG..... off to change.


Karen A. said...

Yes, G...I spew warning would have been good...I almost choked on my cuppa! Way too know you could have always strapped her to the roof...I'm sure your vehicle had one of those!

Thanks for the giggles.

Karen A.

Anonymous said...

Hysterical story, laughing till my tummy hurts and........i heard it before, I miss your Ma.
Time for a trip to sunny Calif,
LU, B.
P.s....Now tell the story of the Hotel In Boston.

Sharon Dixon said...

Gina, that story is just the medicine I needed this morning. It's time for me to go back to the hospital to be with Tommy and I was suddenly feeling the need to crawl back in bed and sleep some more. I'm glad I decided to catch up on blog reading instead. Laughter really is the best medicine. Thanks for keeping me laughing!

The Sarah Bear said...

I LOVE THAT STORY! Thank you for answering my request! HA! HEE! HA!


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the re-post Dear G! I've loved the story then and I love it more now.

Hugs to you!

Karen A.

Lynn Douglass said...

OMG, Gina! I laughed until I hurt! I'm so glad you re-posted this story, because I missed it the first time. If you ever stop in Bakersfield again, call me! I have clean beds, a stocked frig, and there's no dirty business being done in this house. LOL

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