Tuesday, December 30, 2008

After Christmas

I'm sorry dear blog followers, for being awol. I havent been able to function you see... and I couldnt take another soul with me. Today I "feel" like talking, however I cannot assemble words. So I will type and see what happens. Never forget Marvelous Mondays ok? I do not, even when I cannot see the forest for the trees. I am grateful a plenty.
I still chose to live, I am still fighting, however it seems too damned hard at times. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me? I made it through Christmas, and I was proud of my kids who did considerably better than I did. I spent time with my son talking, and told him of my woes. I spent time on the staircase waiting to see him appear for dinner, and he did not. I spent a good deal of time deciding which kid needs me more, the one in the grave, or the ones in the house. I know what youre thinking, but its a difficult decision for me. I jump every 30 minutes? I cannot share those thoughts at all. I spent time with the living, and tried to smile too.....

Ok, lets quit talking shall we? A few pic that I can find so far from Christmas... . Each of us had our hard time, and we each had some good times too. My Poor Aviana had her first root canal, and it was very hard for us all too. All that I can say is, truly.... it was a difficult time, and we ALL tried hard to get through it with a few smiles. Heres a picture of our new baby girls.. Jamie and Emily.............and of course thier mommies:)

Aviana was much stronger than me at the dentist.... One of cooking with Jake, THAT was a good time......The bad time was him telling me that Idaho would be his new home. Far from Mom eh.... gruntMe and my girls, trying???

I have hope for 2009.... Hope, its a good thing.


Deb said...

missed you, and glad to have you back. 2009 will be better..maybe never right...but do the best you can. We'll all be here to listen.
luv ya!

Sharon Dixon said...

I'll say the same thing to you that I said to Ronda. I hope 2009 is a better year for you. I'm sure you'll be glad for 2008 to end.

Anonymous said...

The living need us and we need the memories of those who beat us to heaven.... 2009 will not be better but possibly easier, it is hard G, I know tomorrow will be 1 year, my entire heart and soul are so empty but I know my Son wants me to remain strong and take care of those alive, those he loved as much as I do, hang in there, I know how hard each and every minute is! Love Ya MORE! Ronda

Lindah said...

Gina, please know that there are people out here who care. Don't try to hide the hurt. Some of us have been there and know the hurt. All of us care. Healing comes with time. Oh yes, the scars will always be there, but so will the precious memories. Heaven is not so far away...reunion will come.

Mary said...

It takes a lot of strength to go through the motions of a holiday when you're grieving so much. I'm glad you were surrounded by loved ones.

Anonymous said...

I've been told over and over throughout my life...'life just isn't fair'...and they are right, it isn't fair. We deal with the hand we're given and then we have to trudge on. Webster defines 'trudge' as: "to walk or march steadily and usually laboriously"

You're doing the best you can. Trudge on, Dear Gina.

Karen A.

Feather on a Wire said...

Love for 2009,

Anonymous said...

Many hugs to you Gina! I know the holidays are hard for so many people for so many reasons. Yours was extra hard. I hurt with you girl. I missed you & am glad to see you still 'trudging' on.
Hang in there & know there's many people who care so much about you.

Anonymous said...


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