After Christmas

I'm sorry dear blog followers, for being awol. I havent been able to function you see... and I couldnt take another soul with me. Today I "feel" like talking, however I cannot assemble words. So I will type and see what happens. Never forget Marvelous Mondays ok? I do not, even when I cannot see the forest for the trees. I am grateful a plenty.
I still chose to live, I am still fighting, however it seems too damned hard at times. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me? I made it through Christmas, and I was proud of my kids who did considerably better than I did. I spent time with my son talking, and told him of my woes. I spent time on the staircase waiting to see him appear for dinner, and he did not. I spent a good deal of time deciding which kid needs me more, the one in the grave, or the ones in the house. I know what youre thinking, but its a difficult decision for me. I jump every 30 minutes? I cannot share those thoughts at all. I spent time with the living, and tried to smile too.....

Ok, lets quit talking shall we? A few pic that I can find so far from Christmas... . Each of us had our hard time, and we each had some good times too. My Poor Aviana had her first root canal, and it was very hard for us all too. All that I can say is, truly.... it was a difficult time, and we ALL tried hard to get through it with a few smiles. Heres a picture of our new baby girls.. Jamie and Emily.............and of course thier mommies:)

Aviana was much stronger than me at the dentist.... One of cooking with Jake, THAT was a good time......The bad time was him telling me that Idaho would be his new home. Far from Mom eh.... gruntMe and my girls, trying???

I have hope for 2009.... Hope, its a good thing.