Friday, June 6, 2008

Bloom Where You're Planted


Who made that up? Bloom where you're planted.... :::pondering this morning over my second cuppa.::: I was excited yesterday when a pal called to say "Lets go to Pismo and shop today". I was onboard. I was all over that. I cheerfully replied, "I'll drive!" It was good to be there, but as the morning past it became increasingly evident that this was no longer my home. Damn it. I was happy here. I was blooming HERE. I chatted lightly with Tracy over lunch, but my thoughts were really on the life ahead. Life as you know has not had a normal morsel in it since January 2008. I was happy doing something "normal" like stopping at Marshalls for a FIND OF THE WEEK as I usually do. Our lil grandkids, and self appointed God daughter are sure to suffer with G being out of the area. It occurred to me that I maybe could find normal, and even happy if I just let go and let it happen. Whether it is about my Jamie, where I live, or whats going on around me.. I need to give up the control factor, realizing IM SO NOT IN CONTROL ANYWAY, and let it happen. Bloom where I'm planted. I of course answer myself by saying how in the heck can I bloom anywhere when all I want is my son to walk through any door with a goofy grin on his face and say Hey Ma! Whats to eat? I cant tell you how many times a day I fall as this crosses my mind/heart. Its just not real sometimes... It just isnt. Theres no blooming to be had.
Change channel....clic
Bloom..... I told Tracy to get in the car, we are going exploring. I dropped the top on the car and jumped on 101 headed for SLO to shop only 12 miles from home as opposed to a 40 minute drive to Pismo. ( please note that this was AFTER the "FIND" at Marshalls...lol, sorry kids, this time it was a Giraffe for the home!) We had a good time and decided that theres much to be explored here, and damn, I need a bigger wallet. GRUNT. I need to get the shop up and running and get back to work!
If not for the PITA Stairs and compromised knee, this home is the coolest! Everywhere I look I have fun with the potential. I know that Walt too is contemplating blooming here too. Maybe it all boils down to being overwhelmed. I guess I could sum up several months with that word. Overwhelmed. So I pick up my coffee, and my knee as I ponder Walts encouraging words of the week. Do whats nessesary, do whats possible, and soon, you will be doing the impossible...
Blooming?
Hmmmmmmmmm

5 comments:

The Sarah Bear said...

O.V.E.R.W.H.E.L.M.E.D.!

Carol said...

And bloom you do - every day. Sometimes the blossom is full and lavish and sometimes the source waiting to recover to bloom again. But, you, my special lady . . . you do bloom every day.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes the blooms are meant to show up next week and not be forced today.

You just arrived in Morro. Your roots are only begeinning to take hold in the ground (perhaps sand) -be patient with yourself...

Breathe and just BE...

Karen

Desert Threads said...

Take one day at a time and let God take over.

TracyeQ said...

Just lovin' your guts Girlfriend, and sending angels on your body.

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