When Things Dont Go As Planned
When you feel like you spend much of your time in a fetal position looking for the next warm tortilla with butter, and you think that you have nothing to pull from, you do. You really do.
How many times does one need to re-invent themselves? I ask myself this alot with one hand on my hip, one foot turned to the side, one eyebrow in the air, about to have yet another six year old temper tantrum.
With many self talks I call upon every learned skill that I have acquired to get me pulled out of the weeds of life. The best tool being the exercise of the heart.
When I take my eyes off of myself, and onto my loved ones, or even a stranger, I feel stronger. I am in fact stronger. Trouble is, these days that is extremely difficult. I'd sure like to say that I can immerse myself in my quilting but I cant say it. Do it. In fact, I wish I could say that I am immersing myself in anything to change my channels, but I cant... grunt. Dont misunderstand, I'm not having a pity party for one, I'm just on a mission to get better. Notice I didnt say heal.. I will accept get better. I wonder how many times will I need to redefine "happy ever after"? As many times as it takes, I know... TIME.
When I take my eyes off of myself, and onto my loved ones, or even a stranger, I feel stronger. I am in fact stronger. Trouble is, these days that is extremely difficult. I'd sure like to say that I can immerse myself in my quilting but I cant say it. Do it. In fact, I wish I could say that I am immersing myself in anything to change my channels, but I cant... grunt. Dont misunderstand, I'm not having a pity party for one, I'm just on a mission to get better. Notice I didnt say heal.. I will accept get better. I wonder how many times will I need to redefine "happy ever after"? As many times as it takes, I know... TIME.
The best exercise for the heart is to reach down and lift someone else up.
"Tim Russert". I'll miss his insight fullness.
This exercise isnt as easy as one may think when you yourself are buckling.
Sometimes you must fake it till you make it.
<----I'm on it.
PS: king panto done. finally. Now I am binding it.... grunt.
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6 comments:
I am reminded of the immortal words of John Lennon: "Whatever gets you through the night...is alright, alright."
Me thinks you are a smart cookie
my mom tells me all the time.One foot in front of the other just one foot.The rest will follow. ((((((hugs)))))
Me thinks your a smart cookie also!
Karen
I've struggled with depression for years and your statement "When I take my eyes off of myself, and onto my loved ones, or even a stranger, I feel stronger" has certainly been true for me.
It can be difficult since I don't have children at home, don't have a job that helps support us and being at home alone as much as I am can certainly challenge me BUT I try.
Things won't ever be the same as they were before but better is good....
It is infinitely easier to deal with anyone else than with dealing with ourselves.
When we can not bear to deal with ourselves a minute longer...the best thing you can do for yourself is to help someone else and I think as hard as it can be at times of trials...there is nothing more true than to be there for another...whenever you can...it is what can lift you and can make it better...as you say.
Long winded way of saying...I couldn't agree with ya more kiddo!;)
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