Ya Can't Take Me Anywhere!

Celine Dion's Concert last week was one of the best performances I had seen in years! ( Thank you Sis)
The sold out Arco Arena was screaming and yelling, ooing and awing all evening. I think I counted 9 costume changes, and her dancers and props were outrageous! Great show... just great....
NOW... as for me... WTHeck is wrong with me anyways???? First of all upon entry, all of us dressed to the nines.. ( no way do I even KNOW what that means) I went through security only to have a tug of war fight with a guard when he tried to search my bag. BECAUSE.................I discovered my wallet is missing! A wallet that held my Tee shirt monies for celine... all of my anniversary gift monies to be dropped off, all of my WINNING lottery tickets, and ....and... its a dolce and gabanna wallet!!! DO U SEE ME FREAKING OUT AT AT THE CHECK IN STAND? I finally made it clear to the guard why he could not have my bag. I yelled for Matt ( nephew extrodinaire) to RUN to the car to see if it was there. ( no easy feat as its about a mile awy, ( IN MY HEELS) oh... forgot myself... You see I have a habit of grabbing something while driving, and leaving on my lap until stopped.. then forgetting Ive done so, hop out of the car and everything in my lap goes with me. I was certain that this had happened to my wallet. Great... I thought.. ya just dont panic all dressed up.. ya just dont. Thankfully, Matt came running with something to his chest. Was it my wallet? I couldnt see.. he was cuddling it. Ohhhh I know.. its PINK! Yep that has to be it! Sure enough, he hands me the wallet, and the guard gives me THE LOOK as he can now dump out my bag. Safe..... or I thought.
While sis is laughing hysterically, Matt is standing at least 6 feet away from me, and my niece is covering her face with her hair as not to be seen with such idiots, we headed for the tee shirt stands. ( ok, wine stand.. I just didnt want to say that)
The show opened with a singing comedian named Gordie Brown (Montreal) and my face ached with laughter within 20 minutes. (what good medicine eh). Our seats were AT STAGE just behind her family box. What a view... what a view. I really thought that I had made it through the entire evening without bawling my eyes out, right up until the standing ovation and return for a last song.. then she went and did it. She sang My Heart Will Go On, and I was indeed a goner. To snap me out of things... I guess its a bit ironic how she left the stage to greet her family, me with pen and tee shirt in hand, and the crowds were going insane! The woman in front of me stood to her feet to see her and at that very moment my foot, which was in a crossed legged position became wedged in her pop up seat bottom. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! As I am screaming bloody murder, in pain both physically and mentally cause I can NOT go get my tee shirt signed.. my own family is making a quick exit over there----
OMG I yelled louder, I screamed for the lady in front of me to sit back down NOW!!! I again, got THE LOOK. No really! My toe! My toe is caught!!!! she ignored me, as did my family over there leaving me---
Absolutley paralyized I continued my yelling, through Titanic tears.. FINALLY Matt came to my rescue and I told him to move the seat off of my toe!!! He reached down and moved the seat FURTHER UP!!! Im screaming down! down! down like u are sitting down Matt Hurry!!!
With my toe now released, I look down to see blood dripping across my new shoes:( Im really bawling now.. I cannot walk and crowd control there was not. Poor Matt felt bad sighting that he thought that I was cheering for Celine. yeah, so did everyone else, except that snarky lady in front of me. He helped me hobble as though I was a 90 yr old in stilhettos. Poor Matt, Poor me. It took so long to get out of the stadium being smooshed like cattle... I swear.. ya cant take me anywhere, but Im glad they did. Days have passed and my sis is still calling me to ask how my toe is while obviously cracking up. I say its cut! Its hurt! I cant even wear slippers! She says.. Oh G... only you....
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Wonderfully painful lyrics, if you care to sing along.................

Every night in my dreams I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance And spaces between us You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime
And never go till we're one
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to In my life we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on
There is some love that will not go away You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart And my heart will go on and on