Friday, June 5, 2009

Why Do I Feel So Tired Inside & Out?

It's tough when you just want your Mommy, and you realize that you cant do that anymore cause she wants you. Needs you. I feel nearly helpless. Besides the phone, heads rolling, action plans.. I am way over here and my Sis has most of the burden. That hurts too:(It was great to visit with everyone, and entirely too short. I caught myself even "talking" fast. Grunt. Justin is growing his hair out and soon to become a surfer? My Aviana looks like a little sunkissed Islander..lol she is so cute I think that sometimes the very thought of her smile, her laughter or Nonni speak keeps me alive. I still hope to be better in time. I work hard at that, but I just do not know if I will ever be me again. Driving so many miles gives one a good deal of time to think, be it good or bad thoughts. You peoples know how I love to ponder eh...sometimes I hate that about me now. I dont want too, but its instinctual. It occured to me that I am STILL trying to find normal, pick up pieces, make things fit and be happy. In some regards.. in many regards... its harder, not easier. Lets clic k?
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About the B & B, anyone have a mind to try this, think more than twice about the work at hand. I cannot remember when I have EVER worked so hard in my entire life! Some good, some not so good. Rewards are from peoples, paychecks, and a lifes plan.( P's) Hmmm..... Everytime I want to give up, I think about the PLAN. I am not so sure that it will ever come to fruition. Sometimes obstacles, and issues... take over. I believe that I have just enough tenacity left in me to win. ( think positively G) I also think that it doesnt matter what plan you make, change happens.. and keeps happening! NOTHING stays the same, but change. I try to be ready for it nowadays with a plan B, C, D, etcetera.
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Today I am headed to Costco and local businesses to distribute the new brochures we made and the boss re made. ::change see?::: I have a visitor coming tomorrow that we actually know! Sharon & John will be here and we hope to have a nice relaxing week end:) I hope to be back with a wonderful picture that Heather took of us recently. Walt is very proud of his new "look"..lolIt is hanging proudly in the saloon, ( TY H!!) I need them through email so I can send around! and also reprint for the fam, K? Geez she's such a capturer, wait til you see it. Have a great week end everyone, Happy blogging:)

2 comments:

Mary said...

I'm amazed at all you've taken on, can't imagine how hard you must be working but I hope it all comes together like you want/intended it to.

As far as ever feeling like you again, I think you might find that you'll never go back to being the same Gina again -- better, but different. I went through a major depression about 10 years ago and kept thinking I would eventually be ME again. Instead, I'm a different me, not quite so strong but better, much better than the me from the bad times.

Wishing you better times...

The Sarah Bear said...

I'm on it!

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