My world keeps changing. Christmas must change too. I remember the laughter, the thrills..cooking, singing.... the shopping. Now, Christmas is still here everywhere, but where did MY Christmas go?
I looked in my cupboards and couldn't find Christmas there..I stuck a Charlie Brown fake tree up as directed by Mr Wizard, but I couldnt find Christmas there. So I went shopping. I wasn't finding Christmas anywhere! One stop was at Campbell's in the Village, and the band that was playing out front made me smile, and remember. I walked inside to be greeted by an elf with a Hershey's kiss. I just KNEW Christmas must be in here somewhere.
I hunted for 3 hours. NEVER before have I shopped in one place for 3 hours. I found comfort in memories there, I talked to people as if I had never met a stranger, however I didn't find Christmas.
Now sometimes, people just get so far down in their own crap, they forget about others. My mind KNOWS Christmas is forever changed, and the losses in the past few years are just too much to bare at times BUT... others suffer too. (my head knows this!) I silently spoke to those I have lost... they didnt tell me where Christmas went either.
I really wish to tell you where I found Christmas, cause you knew I would.
Was it in a little city in Idaho? You may remember that my X had a near death extended stay in the hospital which made the kids come a runnin` from all over. This caused a great financial burden on all fronts. My youngest soldier son Jake and his family in particular. Especially with a new long lining job. They travelled home (Middleton, ID) knowing Dad would be ok, and they had helped. Christmas however,was lost for them for 2010.
I had been admiring Heathers post on facebook about "doing" the impossible. She has been E mail marketing the "unthinkable" people in hopes to get responses for her Library. My impossible happens to be helping anyone monetarily or emotionally this year. I wake up trying to help myself... go G go...
So I wrote a letter to the Mayor and to the the Chamber of Commerce of this little city. I told them about the gut wrenching problem at hand. I didnt even share with them the loss (S) our family has endured. To my surprise, and the families surprise.. someone heard me! I had calls and e mails... That city is at this very moment out in force bringing Christmas to my family there. Four Santa's with full arms just appeared on the door to my grandchildren's delight. Although I do not have them with me, nor can I help, in some small way I did. I am there. Where is Christmas? It was in my heart all along. Not a moment too soon, have I found my Christmas.
The kids have a tree and a few gifts beneath it. They have food and the best part is.. they have their Mom's heart there too.
God, the heart of life really IS still good.
I am praying for many many blessings on that lil City.
I am praying that the changes in Christmas will be okay, however different they become.
The good news is... I'm praying.
Jamie & Shawn