Thursday, January 8, 2009

Suffering a Loss

Of my Son.
Until now, I thought that is what I have been enduring. I was wrong. ( Jeez I hate it when Im wrong) It's really bigger than that. How in the heck can THAT be?
Loss can come in many forms don't you agree? Loss of a job, or in my case, business. Loss of a home, loss of a relationship. Loss of familiarity...ahhhhhh. Loss of any material items that one is attached to.Loss of body parts, not to exclude body fat! Yep, its a loss too! Maybe not one you'd like to re-find, but its a big change in your life none the less.. that fat was a part of you for many many years. Your hair, eyesight or hearing?Your retirement monies, savings account? How about loss of a pet? My Mom is grieving still over her Lucy. Loss, I think is a HUGE issue in any form, separated only by degree. That degree is only measured by the owner of said loss. Think about it. What do you feel when you lose your keys? Seems trivial to say, but all you have to do is keep multiplying that naked feeling to the degree in which the loss is. Now we, as mothers all agree that the height of loss is to lose your child....to anything.This is the unnatural truth. Period. When you break that all the way down, we suffer loss all of the time, it causes crumbling in your life. Many losses you can recover, some you cant, no matter what you do. So then what? Find what you can, mourn what you cannot? Grunt. Some problems aren't meant to be solved. I have a headache. I am suffering loss-es. I miss my son. I miss many things.I'm working it out, picking up the pieces I can find.
PS: man! why cant I just lose body fat?????

6 comments:

Freda said...

Hang in there Gina. My prayers are with you. Shall I add body fat to the prayer too?

Deb said...

Still here..not knowing how to help...but here.

Desert Threads said...

We are all here for you G. Just give a shout and someone will come runnin.

Anonymous said...

The loss of a Son is like an itch you cannot scratch, a hunger you cannot satisfy, and emptiness you cannot fill.... Does it get better, absolutely not, can it get easier, yes, at times, at other times it is worse... We must look ahead and remind ourselves that our Sons would not want us to stop living, they need us to breathe, remain as calm as possible and carry on the memories only a Mom has...... Sending, silent comfort, warm hugs and the mutual feeling of loss.. I miss my son also, so much it hurts, like no other pain in the world, we will both look for answers forever and all I can do is look to his memories, and his love to carry me on... Love you More Gina..... Ronda

Anonymous said...

(((hugs))
Donna (in MI)

June said...

Gina hang in there. My arms are wrapped around you in love and hugs.

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