Friday, August 27, 2010

How Many Breast Cancer Quilters Do You know?

Mornin`. Any of you peoples ever wake up and look at the air, saying "what else?"  I maybe shouldnt say it anymore... cause something keeps answering me!
So my pajama day was rudely interupted by the day runner read. I nearly missed my mamaogram!  My doctor felt a density and asked me to repeat... okay... no big deal....I did a quick PTA bath, slipped on some clothes, braless of course, ( whats the point?) And motored on down. Only to find that the radiologist doctor also saw a blurp on the digital screen. Enter phone convo with my doctor. I began to sweat and didnt use any deoderant. chit.They decided to do an ultrasound, just to be sure. Trying very hard not to appear to be nervous I stripped again and layed down for my jelly test. I starred at the screen and had de ja vu and found myself listening for a heartbeat and looking for a pee pee. I told the doctor I hadnt had this done in 26 years, be patient with me. This , of course brought  2 nervous chuckles.
Without a sound (or a pee pee) there it was. A pearl sized black pea on my right boobie. I think I scared the doctor when I loudly asked "WTH is that?" He explained calmly that he didnt know yet if it was a cancerous cell or just a big cyst. Now I need a biopsy. I asked what it entaled. A very long needle withdrawing  fluid, if ANY were in there at all. He told me to relax and await a call with an appointment for this procedure. I drove home contimplating the bottle of 2BUCK CHUCK hiding in my hatch. My mind raced to the years spent with my favorite customer Pat who eventually lost her battle with breast cancer. I wondered if I would act as well as she. Quilting her last years away, happy as a pig in poop. I bet I wouldnt. I considered my NEW client who has just gone thru her first chemo/rad treatment and appeared at my door with her turban on, and a smile. I wondered now WHY these women are even IN my life.... pre study for Moi`? Which lead me to another round of "what else?"
 I have figured out that I have 3 personalities now.
The ugly pissed off monster
The victim, a persecuted Jew by proxy, if u will....
The resilient bounce back, glass half full, Queen of everything.
Hey! I'm 50! I cant pick new personalities! I have made a new appointment.yep yep yep.. a new shrink. This time the gloves come off.

17 comments:

Diana said...

I've been through it gal. Do me a favor and DON'T GO THERE! You haven't been diagnosed or even heard anything bad. The ultrasound shows up only if it is a liquid usually, which most likely is a cyst. PLEASE try not to worry. Just get it taken care of and relax. One step at a time. Have wine thirty early if you must but relax. I'm thinking of you. Luv ya, Di

Gina said...

Trying Di, Thanks:)

marilyn said...

Get the bottle of two buck chuck and go to the
beach, things will seem better there.I'll be
talking to the Big Guy , and sending postive
thoughts your way. Your doing good with
only 3 personalities.I think Sibyl had 10,
I'm working on my eighth only 2 more to go.

Gina said...

lol@Marilyn, I'm on it!

threadtales said...

Gina, I have done the breast biopsy three times now (my mother had breast cancer) and it has turned out to be nothing...don't worry until they tell you you have something to worry about and even then...worrying won't do you any good. Focus your energy on getting educated and being proactive in your treatment.

Vicki W said...

Or you will be like me and my Mom, pincushions for doctors because we always have something going on in there! My Mom had her 3rd surgical biopsy last week. I've had 2 needle and 1 surgical and I'm just turning 50! Still, I freaked out each time. I found alcohol to be a great friend during that period!

Gina said...

Thanks you guys, I so love yer guts:) The worry levels are going down an octave with each comment... I knew I could count on u.

myolivebranch said...

hang in there gina. champagne and chocolate always do wonders for me (not my butt, but.....)

Mama Pea said...

I agree with the others. Worrying won't do any good or change anything. Get the 2 buck chuck out and try to relax. Even if it's something to be concerned about, all you can do is learn about it and treat it. My good friend says, "Control what's controllable and hope the rest doesn't do you in!" ha ha. My mom had breast cancer, my aunt had breast cancer, one of my college students had breast cancer...They are all survivors because the caught it early and dealt with it. Catching it early is have the battle, and if you've got it, be so happy you caught it now instead of later! :-) Sending good vibes your way. Your fighter attitude (which I love) will get ya through a lot!

Gina said...

Sometimes I think everything is controlable, and im ALWAYS proven wrong. A bad character trait i think...lol

Thanks u guys, Im ever so grateful for my pals in the box:)

Brenda J said...

Hey gal. The others are right. I'm only 45 and have had multiple scares and biopsies (my mom is a survivor, my aunt did not) and they have all been very anxiety provoking and NEGATIVE (thank God).

Worrying won't change a thing. Go forward knowing God and your friends are there with you, and you will be OK no matter what.

Sending hugs and good thoughts.

Silverthimble said...

Gina: I read your blog often. I love your writing style. I will turn 50 this year too! One year ago, I also went through exactly what you are going through now! My Mom is a cancer survivor so of course they consider me to be in the "high" risk group. I ended up having surgery to remove that *&%@ lump that they found. It turned out to be cyst...thankfully! The road is long friend, but like all those before me said, don't worry until you are told you need to worry. You need to remain positive like those customers you wrote about. My doctor told me that worrying just makes you sick. You will find that this experience will make you stronger and will change your outlook on life forever. You will never again take anything for granted. Ask me how I know! There are a lot of us out here praying and rooting for you. Be strong....and enjoy that drink!

Gretchen said...

One day at a time kiddo. I've been through the needle biopsy, so has my mom. Enjoy your wine at the beach, count your blessings and know there are many thinking of you daily. Xoxo

helen-mary said...

Is two-buck-chuck related to buck-five-come-alive? I've had the needle thing too - it's a breeze and there was nothing resulting from it. Take a deep calming yoga breath.

Sharon Dixon said...

Gina, I've had three breast biopsies and they all turned out fine. I'm praying that will be the case with you. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Gina, I, too, have gone through the ultrasound & biopsy. Mine turned out to be a cyst. I pray that will be the case for you, too. You have many, many who care about you and will be praying for you.
TeresaL

Gina said...

Thanks everyone, I spent a restful week end vegging with walt and the TV... now its time to make the call.... grunt.

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