Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Authenticity At All Cost-Weight Watchers

So if I am to be a true honest blogger, I guess this counts too.Chit.I took the plunge and joined Weight Watchers. There, I've said it. I am now accountable. chit. I have wrestled with weight loss surgery, and several diet plans. I am not heavy enough to be a candidate for surgery,( and chicken too)  and I hate diets. Yesterday, I nearly spent a small fortune on Medifast. ( my good friend has now lost 43 lbs !) I opted to get in the car, go 2 miles to the Womens center, walk in the door where other fattys go at 5 PM on Monday's, and exclaim that I have an emergency! ( I think that I frightened the registration lady)
Undignified Pounds have crept on me since my daughters wedding. Was it stress? menopause? Carelessness? Lifes challenges not met correctly? Who knows, but I TRULY miss size 8 and feeling fit as a fiddle! (do fiddles feel fit?) Truthfully, I miss that MORE than the clothes!
Remember Valentines Day when I started a gym membership? I worked out and lost for 3 whole weeks UNTIL the dreaded tooth surgery. I physically felt better! I slept better! I was in pain a lot!
Now I cant seem to get back, and I gained it back!:::pissed:::
When Walt had surgery I gained. When I lost Jamie I gained. When Mom died I gained! Enough is enough! How can I expect my emotions to heal while I'm trashing my body?The stupid thing is I dont even THINK I AM trashing my body!! I eat healthy foods, I dont LOVE sweets like many peoples do...So maybe its TOO much healthy foods? Remember I told you that I traded being a clothes horse for a shoe freak? Well thats not what I want. I want my clothes back!
If I am to be my authentic self, I need to be honest with myself. I have every excuse on the planet,and thats just NOT who I was. Am.

She wants what she wants, and theres a price to pay.

For all that we do, small & large, there really is a price to pay. Okay, about dieting. Much like religion, I dont believe in it.Obsessing over rituals is not in my belief system. So what am I to do with ths WW program? Is obsessing what it will take? Tracking this, weighing that? Thinking about food instead of quilting designs? :::pondering::: What price do I pay for NOT obsessing? More gains?
::You do know that you are truly my think tank yes?:::
Suffice to say that I have made a decision, and I do not take that lightly, so onward I forge. I guess you're coming with me eh? Mercy.... What will she do next?
Being overweight is difficult. Being fit is difficult. Choose.


TerriW said...

Good for you, Gina! I will think good thoughts!

Anonymous said...

Yes, being overweight is difficult. I was down 68 lbs and had another 20 to go. Instead I gained 30 lbs. Husband hates fat ladies and has decided to go. Besides after 40 years he tells me he can't stand me. At least this time he told me instead of packing up while I was on vacation. It is for the best and we both will be happier, and I will lose the weight.

Anonymous said...

Good for you, I suppose I should do the same.... My Doc said that Medifast is good until you stop drinking and re-enter real life... I know you will succeed, wish you lived closer....

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