Tuesday, September 25, 2007

730 Ponders?

Or so it would seem In answer to a question about WHAT do I ponder from Sarah Bears blog yesterday, I thought I would reply here. ( cause Im so chatty it didn't fit in her comments box..lol)

One thing I like about driving is that you do in fact have roped and tied yourself into a small confined space with nothing to do but ponder. The route that I sometimes take is very limited on radio stations, and I cant even answer why I have but ONE cd in the car to listen to? ( Poor John Mayer) When I thought back to my roadtrip ponders I was shaking my head at the difference between trip there, and trip back. WOW, What a difference!
For 365 miles I pondered things like why are all the wineries on this James Dean HWY stretch? Who has that much money to build such fantastic mini mansions anyway? Why were there cows in these hills when all you can see are grapevines? And look! The cows are laying down it must be raining! ( Blima-ism)
I hit a few miles of construction and it set me off to pondering the whole issue of women working in hard hats and tragic shoes! What do you know I see one flagging me to slow down! Yep, she does indeed have on tragic shoes! They appear to be those Red Wing Steel toe jobs with alot of schmutz on them.Why in the world would they like this job? I considered the last months work and felt proud of me for such diligence and patted myself on the back a time or two for having done a great job on all those quilts. I must have spent a good hour at least planning Christmas gifts in the form of quilts for various people too. I wondered where the quilt given to my daughter in law had gone to, and I quickly changed the channel in my mind. As you can see I prefer shallow thoughts this day.
The 365 mile trek home wasn't so carefree eh? I must tell you that it was one of the hardest drives I had driven. I pondered the terrible disease diabetes and tried to calculate how many women in my family contracted it, and at what age. I became so angry, jealous maybe, that I see older women on a daily basis aging from 20-90 who are zooming around quilting, visiting, laughing, and my Mom, age 80 now, is as weak as a kitten and could care less about picking up a needle and thread. I really hate this disease and what has become of my Mom, and what may even become of me.
I pondered the future, and my families dynamics quite a bit. I wondered how they would change, and I KNOW that change is coming. It always does. I spent a great deal of time thinking about my adult children, and what is to come of us all. I must have walked myself through 30 years trying make sense of dysfunctions. I decided that we all have out own personal cross to bear in life eh? At some point we are adults, make our own choices, and cant hold other people responsible for them. I was dealt a hand of cards, it is up to me to play them. One of the greatest things age brings is wisdom I think. Through life we have made mistakes, and hopefully learned from them. Its too bad that you cant just hand this over to someone, wrap it up in a pretty box with ribbon and say "Here, I want you to have this, cause I love you so much". Lets call it the gift of enlightenment.The last leg of my drive home the sun was setting on a familiar corner. Where the water meets the road and the ocean breeze hits me. You know the corner. I decided to ponder the next weeks workload. I am very happy to have such a great job and place to work in. I pondered the new memory quilt being built for the Epilepsy foundation this month. How ironic that I will be making it in Laurel Burch fabrics, and she passed this month of yet another horrid disease. I will miss her happy prints, her whimsical ways. I wondered how so many women with these debilitating diseases can be so happy and productive? Why cant my Mom? Sally Fields came to mind here... so I laughed at myself, then I cried some more. I gotta tell ya... I much prefer the shallow drive to, as opposed to the heavy drive home. Today I shall ponder 3 rush jobs before my classes in So Cal! I'm coming Ronda!

8 comments:

Desert Threads said...

I also ponder life's little (or big) mysteries while driving.
What a beautiful scene coming around the bend. All we have are cement plants..UGGGHHH!

The Sarah Bear said...

I like your pondering! Thank you for sharing! I wish we had more time to work on these topics over coffee. Dare I ask, when you comin' back? Maybe we can meet in Monterey instead? LOL!

Love you!

Anonymous said...

I know that corner and miss it.
You need me for these roadtrips G, it would take alot longer cause we would stop at every shop.
Laughing @ tragic shoes, only you would think of that.
B.

Jan Thompson said...

It seems the more we age, the more we ponder. We look to our mothers to see what our later years will be like (if we are lucky enough to have had our mothers that long). But what it all comes down to is that we will have the life we make, whether it is with good health or bad. Let's make it the best life possible - attitude is everything. Love your ponderings, Gina.

DearGina said...

I'm tieing myself to Greta Gammill and pondering feathers for a month or so!! LOL

Lynn Douglass said...

You always give a reader so much to think about, Gina. I can appreciate your ponderings about health and debilitating diseases. My mother died from cancer when she was only 54. I'm working on living a full life while I have it, by golly! Love the pictures of your drive, and I laughed out loud about the tragic shoes! :-)

Doc said...

Pondering...LOL...yeah...you know I love to...and you are so right...the car is the perfect place...pondering while wondering...sounds like a song title...hmm....maybe I will go pick up a guitar ;)

Ann said...

I like your pondering!Thanks.

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